Being the YES Person
How many of you identify yourselves as introverts or home-bodies? *raises my own hand.
Well this month’s challenge is for you, though everyone can participate in it!
Being the “yes” person. What does that mean? I’ll explain.
How many of us are guilty of being invited to an event, a party, an outing, or a gathering and the automatic first response in your head is NO? But of course, that “no” always translates to one of following:
- “Oh, I’ll have to see if I can, I think I have something I have to do but I’m drawing a blank.”
- “Oh thank you, but I have to work that night.” *Knowing good and well you don’t.
- “That sounds so fun but I’ll have to see, I’m pretty busy. But if I don’t make it, have a great time!”
The CLASSIC one is the excuse you pull the day of when your phone is blowing up with people wondering if you will make it and ALL OF A SUDDEN you feel sick as a dog when you probably got up that morning and went for you run, did all your errands and felt perfectly fine.
Sound familiar? This is the introvert/home-body theme song.
Why do we say no most of the time? Why has our brain written the word “no” on the automatic response list when anything related to spending time with other people in a public setting comes up?
Is it the activity itself we don’t like? The possibility of being surrounded by more than 10 people at a time? Is it as simple as having to put pants on when you just want to chill in a t-shirt on your couch? (that’s me for sure!)
Now, I know the answer is different for a lot of us. It could be social fear, or the activities you are being asked to go to and your general dislike for those specific things and, that is ok. At least you know your “why” – Now what do we do with that?
Well first, let’s identify why saying YES can benefit us.
Does anyone ever get that feeling when you are sitting at home during the hour the activity or gathering you were invited to is going on and thinking, “I am so bored.” Or, “Why am I just sitting here, I should have just went.”
Here is what I gather from this. The reason you are sitting at home is that you let your automatic response system say NO for you. When you were asked to go, did you think about it for even a second? Was there no part of you that thought that it might be enjoyable? Or, as soon as you heard the words “…do you want to go….”, you immediately felt those two letters written into your response list and you are just waiting for the end of the sentence to send it?
Well, had you have said yes, what’s the worst that could have happened?
Here is the thing about saying yes. We EXPERIENCE, make MEMORIES and LEARN.
And don’t get me wrong. I am not saying to take every invitation to a party where everyone is wasted and you know for a fact you’re going to get stuck in the corner by the refrigerator because it is the only open space in the house and you know that’ll be your hiding spot until your friends decide it’s a good idea to text you back or you get hungry and raid the host’s kitchen for snacks because nobody will notice you (or the food) are gone anyway. *Kind of cracking up because I KNOW you guys have been there.
No, no. I am talking about saying yes to brunch. Say yes to going to the lake house. Go to Walmart with your friends just because. Even if you think it’s for 12 year olds, go laser tagging when your friends ask cause, literally, WHY NOT.
Worst that is going to happen is you won’t enjoy it. But at least you aren’t sitting on the couch wondering if you’re going to hate it. Now you know you do. *LOL
But, you still said YES. And that yes, is liberating. You experienced. You learned. Now, if that specific activity comes up again, your “no” is a bit more understood. It’s not empty. And most of all, you won’t be wondering what could have happened had you opened yourself up.
So, next time you get an invitation to something, even if you think, this could not sound more boring, go. Just go. And if you go and you don’t enjoy yourself, leave. But I would rather you have the option to leave, than be forced to regret.